Tarot and the red thread

After Scarlet was euthanized so unexpectedly, and my grief was still raw and bleeding from its jagged edges, I turned to my beloved Crow Tarot by MJ Cullinae. This photo is the card I drew during that awful time, The Star.

I'd like to share an excerpt about it from the author's The Crow Tarot Expanded Guidebook and Journal:

The bird felt a deep connection to the planet as it stood on the cold dew-covered ground. As if it were a faucet, the Star poured down a glistening light that washed over the bird, illuminating its feathers as it rinsed away any negativity...

Ms. Cullinae sure got me good back there.

A few minutes after reading her words on the card, I found myself outside under the night sky, kneeling on the ground. It was March, and there was still snow, but I barely felt the cold. Like the star pouring down its light, I poured my grief into the frozen grass and dirt beneath me while I sobbed.

I think that is where it's supposed to go, our grief. Soaked into the soil along with our tears. Life is what tethers us to earth. And living means experiencing pain, sorrow, and loss along with all the good stuff.

The message of the star card is about rejuvenation, divine love, and being connected to all of it. But it's also a message about staying on the ground, not allowing oneself to freely let go and journey into the stars. I could perfectly envision myself as one side of the crow's spirit and Scarlet as the other. Where I would wake up to a new day and go on with life on earth, the only thing keeping Scarlet from flying freely into the sky was...me.

If two souls can forge an unbreakable bond from love, and I couldn't let go of my pain from missing her, how would leaving me make Scarlet feel? I knew the answer. She wouldn't let go either.

I knew about the red thread philosophy before losing Scarlet. It was the message of that single tarot card in the Crow deck that truly brought it to life for me, though. I understood why this powerful, unbreakable connection is embodied by a single thread in the vast tapestry of our lives. A thread is not a chain weighing the body down, or a rope that chafes and burns into the skin. It is featherlight. It can unravel as far as it will go so long as that tapestry still exists.

The red thread is a promise of love's power that we can visualize in order to heal. Releasing my guilt over ending Scarlet's life isn't betraying her memory. The only thing that goes away is the guilt. I'm comforted knowing the thread between us is always there, and Scarlet is washed in beautiful starlight where she deserves to be, free of my life's burdens and the echos they instill from her own prior struggles.

This year I have endured the most devastating loss in my lifetime. Were it not for the messages tarot showed me and the love Scarlet gave me, I don't know if the darkness around my heart could ever heal.

Tarot isn't a magic wand. It's not a direct line to the deceased or a guaranteed answer for every question. But it is a way for the same forces that create our red threads to help us hear what they can't say with words. And I would be honored to share their message to anyone seeking it.